When we discuss the topic of tefilla [prayer], we should realize that there are various forms of its expression. One kind is as a cry, whether out loud or within a broken heart. Another form is supplication as a slave begs his master to spare his life. A third way is to demand or claim from Hashem [G-d], as if the petitioner has his request coming to him rightfully; this could border on brazenness.

A story is told that illustrates this concept. A son lived a great distance away from his father. At one point his financial situation deteriorated until he could bear it no longer. He decided to write to his father, asking for help, and penned, “Father, I am in a very difficult position and desperately need your help. Perhaps you could send me some money…” He sent it off.

His father received the letter, but since he was illiterate, he asked one of his servants to read it to him. The man read it aloud in a strident, demanding tone. “Father! I am in a difficult position and need your help! Perhaps you could send money!” Upon hearing such impudent language, the father became filled with rage. How could his son make such demands on him; what terrible manners he has, etc. He refused to help him whatsoever.

The son waited for some time without a reply, and decided that the note must not have made it to his father. So he wrote another one. To his misfortune, the same worker read it again in the same fashion, and it just increased his father’s wrath.

Again receiving no response, the son tried once more. This time, however, a different employee was asked to read it out for the father. He read it in a tone of pleading and requesting. “Father.. I am in a difficult position. I need your help. Perhaps.. you could send some money?” The father smiled with approval. “Now, my son is finally asking in the proper way! I would be glad to help him out.”

Tefilla is exactly the same. One can utter the same words, but depending on the tone, approach, and mindset, the prayer is a different prayer.

Let us now explain a fourth kind of prayer, powerful and effective: to present an argument. This works within the relationship we have with the Creator as a son to his father. Albeit this is an obvious idea, we should clarify the exact mechanics of such a prayer.

Our teacher Rav Shach said, in the name of the Sfas Emes, that when the Bnei Yisrael [Children of Israel] were wandering in the Midbar [desert], and some of them complained about their conditions, Moshe [Moses] argued with Hashem that he should not be responsible for them. “Did I conceive this entire nation, or give birth to it, that You tell me: ‘Carry them in your embrace like a nurse carries a baby…’ From where can I procure meat for this entire nation?”

Why did Moshe have to precede his complaint with the fact that he didn’t bear the people? Either way, he didn’t have meat for them all?

Answered the Sfas Emes: If Moshe had given birth to them, he would have had to find a way to provide for them! When it comes to your own child, for a hungry son or daughter, there is no excuse of “I don’t have.”

We learn from here a new depth to the concept of a father-son relationship. Since the parent brought the child into the world, it is his responsibility to provide his needs, whatever that entails.